Sunday, January 22, 2006

Wanna torment your significant other?

Came across this on my way through the digital world of knitwear:


This a mitten designed for a couple to wear together, while holding hands. Yeah, that's right. The German equivalent of a public ball and chain. I mean, really...how humiliating would this be for a guy to wear? What would you say when your wife ('cause let's face it, if a girlfriend made this for a guy, the guy would take off so fast that he'd look like the roadrunner on crystal meth) gives this to you?

I just envision a very uh...mannish...hausfrau (housewife) saying in an intimidating tone of voice, "You will wear this, ja? And if not...we haff vays of making you regret your choice." (Cue dramatic musical theme)

Okay, just for those of you who may be about to accuse me of stereotyping German housewives...my husband is German-Canadian, and frankly he's the one who puts these ideas in my head. Having grown up in Germany, and having had dealings with several authentic hausfrauen....he's my go-to guy on silly German accents and scary hausfrauen. He's also the reason that I speak in a very specific German dialect. You should see the looks that I get in Germany when I speak - not only am I a little Chinese girl speaking German...I'm speaking in the German equivalent of Newfie. Freaks most people out.

Of course, my German is generally better when I'm a bit drunk. That could also go a long way towards explaining most of the funny looks. Just saying.

2 Comments:

Blogger FrozenExtremities said...

The one I made was way cooler, it even had individual thumbs. My sis-in-law thought it was the sweetest thing ever, my brother is planning my untimely demise as we speak.

And my husband wouldn't even try it on for fear the nerdiness would stick with him forever.

5:54 PM

 
Blogger Moe said...

I'm picturing you, a little chinese drunk lady speaking a cockney version of german...with a pint in one hand and schnitzel in the other. Funny funny funny.

That mitten is pretty disturbing. I think something like that is grounds for divorce in our household. I'll have to check the civil marriage vows, but there must be some small print.

My hands would get all sweaty.

3:04 PM

 

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